Cherish the Day
by Pokiepup
Summary: A moment in time between Doccubus, right after the end of 5x07. Told from Bo's POV. A Onzie in honor of the incrediable duo of Inevitablywicked reaching over 1K followers


Yellow all, here we have a onzie to honor the fact that the incredible Inevitablywicked has reached over 1K followers. We authors owe them a big thanks for making sure our work is known, and we as readers owe them a huge thanks for keeping us informed of new stories, updates, and the authors. So big thanks to the awesome duo for all you have done, it was an honor you selected me to do the onzie for you.

Pokie.

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><p><span><em><strong>Cherish the Day<strong>_

_(_

"_Don't you think we should save the generator power for something more important?" Well that's certainly one way to distract me from my mostly disapproving, slightly jealous, lightly scolding speech. _

_She doesn't say anything, just gets this sort of intense look as she walks toward me. I'm sure I have another quip somewhere rattling around, but there's something happening. There's something in the air that just engulfs me. There's something in the sternness of her flawless face. The intensity in her eyes, that even through the darkness of the room I can see clearly. There's something in the way she walks toward me without so much as an ounce of hesitation. _

_She walks right up to me and in that brief second I find her in front of me, my heart stops. It's a single second, but I swear the world stops. I swear my heart stops. I forget everything. Forget that everything other than her exists. I'm so sure she's going to kiss me, and I honestly would beg her to if she asked me to. _

_When she leans in though, it's not what I had expected. _

_Her right arm wrapping around me, fingertips lightly gripping my shoulder blade. Her left hand holding my elbow as she guides my arm up around her. Then she starts to move-no, correction, she is swaying. I wasn't aware Lauren swayed, yet here we are in the middle of an apocalypse, in her lab, in a power outage-swaying. _

_She definitely gets points for originality and shock in the 'How the hell to shut up a succubus' games. _

_I know I'm moving with her, but I feel like a statue. I'm so afraid, yet I can't really say of what. It's not like she's never been this close to me before. It's not like I've never touched her before, or vice versa for that matter. Yet, here I am__,__ terrified._

"_She could be listening," she whispers, my eyes moving up to the little bubble camera on the ceiling. Makes sense now. "I know what I'm doing. You need to trust me. I'm getting to live my lifelong dream." I know I should be focused on what she's saying, and to a degree I am. Though I can't help the way I start to melt into her embrace. My left hand moving to find a nice resting spot on her back, rather than dangling aimlessly at my side. "Treating humans. Fae. Conducting research, and none of this has anything to do with turning Evony Fae again. I don't work for anybody, but myself."_

"_You know how to seize an opportunity." My tone matching hers instinctively. God, I've missed her touch. Her smell. Her voice. Her body. Her embrace. I've missed her. I don't think I've honestly realized just how much until this moment. _

"_Hm, well for some of us life is shorter." These words just as level as the others. No added emotion or change in her embrace. It's spoken just like a fact, like everything else she's said. It is a fact, I know that, but I think I've forgotten it. _

"_Then let's make it count." Words not so much a conscious choice as they are a wishful notion. _

_I don't know whose feet stopped first, hers or mine. I suppose it doesn't matter-not now. I tilt away from her slowly, as if I moved any faster I would scare her away. Maybe scare myself away. _

_My eyes staying with hers, but hers wander. _

_They wander from my eyes down to my face and back up. They wander back down from my eyes to my lips, and if I wasn't so caught up in the moment, in her, I would smile. It's been so long since she looked at me like this. This level of not desire, or wanting, but this level of love. I forgot what it was like to have her look at me like I'm the only thing in the world that mattered. _

_So caught in my musing I don't even realize at first she's leaning in to me. Not all the way though, this isn't that type of moment. It's not about desire. It's not about need. It's not about longing. It's about something pure and innocent in a sense. So when she leans in, it's only ninety percent of the way. Her eyes drifting shut as I can't stop myself from leaning in the other ten. _

_Her bottom lip slips between mine. I swear by God-or Gods-or Ancient Fae, in these moments I feel my heart mending. I swear that in these few moments, I feel myself coming back alive. _

_Drifting apart, we share this look and I don't think it means the same for her as it does for me. Her look is telling me that all we have is now, in this moment. Mine-well I can't be exactly sure what she sees looking into my eyes now, but I hope she sees the love I've tried so hard to hide. I hope she sees the hope I have for her, for us. I hope she sees everything I can't bring myself to say aloud. _

_Leaning back in, lips finding their home on hers. Her arms sliding up around my neck pulling me closer to her. My embrace around her waist doing the same. Short, semi-open lipped kisses doing more to me than an entire night with-anyone. _

_She whimpers against my lips, it's not so much sexual as it is blissful. Oh God, I had almost forgotten that sound. How could I ever forget that? Her left hand running up and down my arm until it finally finds a home in my hair. The tiny tips of her fingernails gently pressing into the back of my neck. It's as arousing as it is tickling. _

_The blade drops from my hand, falling to the floor. Newly free hand quickly occupying itself with the curve of her waist. My head tilting back as her lips find my jaw, my throat, my collarbone. She should have been a succubus. Smiling to myself partially at the thought, partially at the feel of her tongue teasing my skin. _

"_Lauren." Her name rolling off my lips with such ease it should be shameful. It should be shameful at the reaction she's having on my body with light foreplay. Hell, not that the reaction is much different than with a simple touch from her. Now that, should be shameful. _

"_Hm?" I can feel her lips curve into a smile against my skin. _

"_I—I want you." _

"_I know." She chuckles against my neck, her hands both buried deep in my hair now. _

"_I really do." My words growing more labored by the heartbeat. Eyes opening to find ceiling, hands moving up to her cheeks. Gently guiding her face up so I can glance into her eyes. _

"_I really know." She smirks, another little chuckle coming through. _

"_No," I shake my head slightly. Nervousness or maybe sheepishness creeping into my smile. The depth of her eyes pulling me in with such ease I don't ever want to look away. "I really want YOU." _

_She doesn't speak, doesn't move. She just stares right back into my eyes. So many emotions in her eyes it's almost like waves crashing into land. With every crash, the shape of the waves changes. In these few moments, I swear I can see every possible emotion she has come to pass. _

"_I told you before Bo," Her whisper even softer than her previous ones. Hands eloquently slipping from my hair to my cheeks, her thumb brushing over my lips. "I'm YOURS." _

_Well, if the world is ending-then there's no better place to be._

_Right here with her. _

_Right here in this moment. _

_)_

My eyes flutter open to darkness, great, right before the fun stuff. Stupid sleep. I roll over onto my side, irritation only growing when I see the time.

Ooh, goody. I managed to be asleep for a whole twenty minutes.

Pressing my face further into the pillow, hiding from a nonexistent light. I just need to sleep. I just need to get some good sleep and all of this tomorrow morning won't seem so horrible.

Who the hell am I kidding, none of this will be better in the morning. That stupid saying is for finding out you got a D on a test, or a fight with your roommate over which cereal to buy. NOT when you find out your father runs hell and you rip out your roommate's heart. No amount of sleep is going to EVER change the first part of that sentence. No amount of sleep is gonna change the second part either.

I roll back onto my back, looking over to my right.

An empty space that's never been emptier than tonight.

No one night stand. No Dyson. No Tamsin. No anyone.

Maybe it's because it's been a rough day. Maybe it's because of my weird little mind friend-zoning of Dyson. Maybe it's because I broke Tamsin's heart.

Maybe it's because today I remembered exactly how it felt to hold Lauren in my arms after making love. Remembered exactly how everything-everyone paled in comparison. Maybe it's because no matter how many people before or after her have temporarily occupied that spot, it's ALWAYS belonged to her.

'_I wish we could lie here forever.'_

My own words echoing in my mind as I stare at the pillow. If I look hard enough I can see her laying there, sleepy smile on her lips as she clutches the sheet to her chest. A sense of modesty that is as baffling as it is endearing.

So long I've spent convincing myself that I didn't need her. So long I've spent convincing myself that I didn't want her. So long I've spent convincing myself that I could live without her. One touch. One kiss. One smile. One sweet whisper in my ear, and it all fades away.

It was like my heart had been stopped for all of these months, and then we kissed and suddenly I was alive again. Suddenly I was ME again, whoever ME is.

I can't say how many times, in the short time I was indulging in this thing with Tamsin, that I looked over half asleep and thought it was her. It was only ever a second I could trick myself into thinking it, but those little seconds were-something.

I wonder what it would be like to wake up next to Lauren every morning. What it would be like to go to sleep with her every night. To have to share a bathroom and kitchen. To have a disagreement, yet have to actually talk it out because we both live here so there isn't anywhere else to run to. I wonder what it would be like to have her sit up trying to read her science stuff while I'm trying to sleep next to her. I wonder what it would be like to see her come out of the bathroom with this terrified yet joyous smile on her face, telling me that we're having a baby. I wonder what it would be like to stand up in front of our family and friends and vow forever. I wonder what it would be like to spend the holidays together—what they'd be like with a child—or two.

I wonder what it would be like to stop running from her.

Sighing to myself, I find my hand reaching across the bed, stopping short of where her body would be.

I hear something downstairs and I look toward the door, waiting to see a light or hear another noise. At least I would know Tamsin came home, that she was safe. There's nothing though. Just the bones of an old building settling.

I should go after her-she asked me not to though.

I should have drawn lines sooner-I was too selfish.

I shouldn't have even started this-I needed someone.

I needed Lauren, and I used Tamsin.

I can't even honestly say that I would have told her tonight had what happened with Lauren not have happened. I can't say I'm proud of it either, but it is what it is.

I keep saying I should go looking for her, but then this little voice reminds me that I didn't exactly go running the streets when Lauren was missing. I know they're different times, different situations completely, but somehow in this moment it feels like I would be-would be-saying that Tamsin means more.

The cold, hard truth is she doesn't even compare.

Sighing again, I sit up. Eyes moving through the darkness looking for something. There's nothing here to be found, but then again I think I'm always looking for something.

'_I'm yours.'_

Her voice echoes through my mind, my heart-my soul.

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to say?

Can it be this simple?

Can it just all fade away in one night?

All of the lies. All of the secrecy. All of the pain. All of the hurt. All of the fights. All of the cruelness. All of the hypocrisy. All of the loneliness. All of the tears. All of the scars. All of the anger. All of the resentment. All of the words that were unspoken. All of the words that were said, that never should have been. All of the goodbyes. All of the heartbreak.

Can it be this simple?

Something I hadn't thought about until tonight is how much love is like water. It can change effortlessly, gracefully. It can be freely flowing or absolutely unwavering. It can be still or furious. It can be there or it can dissipate.

My love for Tamsin has grown, it's flowing in the sense that some days it's more than others. It changes depending on the day-depending on what I need her to be. My love for Dyson has changed, it's still yet constant.

My love for Lauren though-it's never changed. It's always been absolutely unwavering. It can be perfectly still and it can be furious, sometimes it's both at once. It's never stopped, never dissipated.

Moments like this, I don't know how I've gone so long without her.

I wipe the stray tears from my cheeks, glancing back at the clock.

I should be asleep, but all I can think about is her. About a future that I'm not even sure we'll be alive to face. About a relationship that I don't even know if exists anymore-if it can exist anymore.

We said seizing the moment-did that mean that it was just a moment?

Was that all we get?

I repeat the question to myself twenty times before I realize I'm dressed again and halfway out the door. I repeat the question another thirty times before I find myself half way to her apartment.

What are you doing Bo? It's the middle of the night. It's been a long day. Amongst all of the shit, you had a perfect moment with her. Do you really want to ruin it now? Do you really want to know what it all means? Do you really want to push the boundaries? Do you really want to break your own heart?

I step out of the car, not a soul in sight. A cool breeze passing as my eyes find her floor, the only window with a light on.

Go home Bo.

I repeat that to myself the whole walk across the street, to her building, the elevator ride up, and right until her door. I go to knock, then remember she wasn't one to really lock her door-she still isn't. It's not until I'm already at the stairs that I realize this is more B and E than a surprise visit.

Fae-it. Too late now.

I go to knock on the bedroom door, but then again I've already ignored boundaries thus far, why not one more? She throws this magazine at me, though it doesn't even make it half way before falling onto the floor.

"Jesus! Bo?!" She stares at me for a second, as if she isn't really sure it's me. "What in the world?" Her voice softening, as she sits up fully and looks up at me. "Is everything okay?"

"No," I shake my head, answering honestly. "No, it's really not."

"What's wrong? What happened?" I see that heavy look of sleep on her face vanish, replaced by concern.

"I chose you."

"W—what?"

"Today, I thought that world was ending. I thought it was all over, and I chose you." I clench my jaw, looking away from her. "Whether it was to fight or die, it was you I chose." I take a step closer to her, eyes finding hers and I can feel the tears coming, but I can't stop. "The oracles, they showed me Dyson and I-I didn't choose him. Then they showed me you and I—I fell for it. That's not important, what's important is that I keep choosing you. And if I'm going to be honest, I've never stopped choosing you Lauren. It's in the little things mostly, but it's always you."

"Bo—"

"Today I thought the world was ending and it was you I chose to spend it with. I was okay with dying Lauren, I was okay with it all being over."

"Don't say that." Her features tense slightly, her hand pushing the sheets from her body.

"It's true though." I chuckle through tears. "In your embrace, with your kiss-I was okay if it was the end."

"That is-the most romantic thing anyone has ever said." Her words so gentle as she slides from the bed. "But," Her hand cups my cheek as the other lays on my shoulder. "I don't want to ever be the reason you're okay with dying Bo." She shakes her head, leaning in and kissing my lips. "I've only ever wanted to be the reason you fought." She smiles softly, her thumb brushing away a stray tear.

"You're the reason I breathe." I chuckle softly, looking down.

"Bo, what's happened?" She's almost pleading for me to tell her. To tell her something that I can't quite explain myself. Jumbled thoughts mixed with jumbled feelings making everything so much harder. "Baby please just tell me, what's wrong?" There's a trace of fear now in her words and it kills me that I'm scaring her.

"I-I don't know." My voice breaks, my trembling hands reaching up to grip her shoulders, but I find myself frozen. "W—what we had-it can't be all we get."

"What?" She reaches up, taking my hesitant hands in her own.

"Kenz and Hale, they were so in love and they were-they put all the stupid bullshit aside and just when you think-look what happened. Hale was just gone in a second-and Kenz-"

"Hey, hey." She squeezes my hands, shaking her head.

"I forgot you were human Lauren." This sense of shame coming over me.

"That's-new." She smiles gently. Tilting her head to right as her eyes run over my face.

"I forgot that you're human and that we-"

"Don't have forever?" Her voice so soft, yet so full of pain. I nod, tears falling from my eyes. Those three words crushing me unlike any others I've ever heard.

"I fell in love with you. I fell in love with who you were, who you are. It was never about Light or Dark, human or Fae with us. I fell in love with YOU. Somewhere in between it all though, I forgot that we don't have moments to waste on being angry. On being hurt and stupid. There isn't a later to push it off to."

"Bo, you make it sound like I'm dying tomorrow." Her hands leave mine, going back to my cheeks as she wipes away tears.

"It feels like it." I sigh out, taking a breath. "Tonight-I couldn't stop thinking about everything. About us, and suddenly I realized how much time has been wasted. I feel like every second that passes, I'm losing you a little more. All I can think now is that, that can't be all that we get. This, can't be all of it. There has to be more."

"And-if it was?" Her eyebrow raises, hands slipping down to my neck.

"What?" I blink back tears, my heart sinking. I look into her eyes and search, search for something, but there isn't an answer there now. "If-if that was all that we got then-no." I shake my head. "I'm sorry, I wish I could say that it would be good enough. I wish I could tell you that it was enough, but it would be a lie." This time it's my hands that find themselves on her checks, leaning in just a bit. "I've lied enough to you."

"Bo, don't—don't say something that you can't-"

"I don't accept it Lauren." I lean in, kissing her softly. "I don't accept that, that is all we get." Another soft kiss. "I've been avoiding looking into the future because—because I was so hurt, but tonight was the first time in so long that I did, and all I saw was you. All I ever see is you."

"Just me, huh?" She sighs out, eyes narrowing as she tries to hold back her tears.

"You. Me. A life that doesn't include apocalypses every few months. It's rather boring compared to our current situation, but I think it would be amazing."

"Careful Bo," She laughs softly, smiling. "Keep going and I might think you actually want some type of serious commitment." She leans in the graceful way she does, kissing my lips several times with those lingering kisses she's perfected. My own greedy lips curving into a smile that only grows with every single one.

"Lauren." I whisper her name against her lips, pulling back.

Eyes finding hers the way always seemed to do, my thought leaving me as I get this image in my mind. This image of her on a bed, almost glowing. The most striking thing though was her dress, this white and eloquent dress.

Where have I seen that before-that's right, my dream.

I can't help but to smile, arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her close.

This image of me coming home, walking into this beautiful dining room to Dyson in scrubs-saying something. I can't hear him-but he fades away and it's Lauren. Lauren in scrubs, holding up a bag of food and smiling her words. I remember—it's the Dawning, I remember the weird mind-screw-a-roo it was, but seeing Lauren there now instead of Dyson-it makes so much sense.

Was it a wedding dress?

"What?" She asks, tilting her head back.

"Nothing." I laugh, leaning in for a kiss.

"Seriously, what?" She asks against my lips as I can't keep from laughing.

"It's nothing, just funny sometimes the things that you remember at the most interesting of times."

"I'm not going to get to know what, am I?" She gives me this little pout, but all I can do is smile like an idiot.

"Not just yet." Another little laugh escapes, but this one is drowned out in the depths of her mouth. In a second her lips on mine, tongue slipping passed my own without permission-not that she needs it.

Every stroke of her tongue, every touch of her hands-all that panic and doubt I had been feeling, that drove me here—melts away.

Maybe my whole remembering my dream and Dawning deal is just some coping mechanism. Something to put my tired and near broken mind at ease. Something giving me hope of the future, or something. Maybe it's all just bullshit, but in this second I choose to believe it. I choose to believe that it was a wedding dress. I choose to believe that what I saw in the Dawning was about me and her, some nod to my future. I choose to believe that one day, I will get my happily ever after.

Most of all, I choose to believe that it will be with her.


End file.
